Once you’ve decided executive coaching is the right step, how do you choose the best partner to truly push your growth forward?
As an executive coach, I’ve found that one of the biggest mistakes leaders make is diving in headfirst without first determining whether the fit between them and their coach will actually work.
Here’s how to identify an executive coach who aligns perfectly with your goals, style, and needs—while also ensuring you’re the right fit for them.
7 Steps To Determine Whether An Executive Coach Is The Right Fit
1. Reflect on your goals for coaching.
Your coaching goals can help you determine whether an executive coach is the right fit. You have to assess whether you’re trying to bend your goals to work with someone and if they’ll truly be operating in their Zone of Genius when they serve you.
While you may be excited to work with a particular coach because you received a referral or fell in love with someone’s social media following, you don’t want to partner with a coach who hasn’t supported similar people in reaching similar goals. You deserve a coach who is an expert in where you want to go.
You also want to ensure your goals are realistic for coaching and the time allotted to the program. You cannot expect transformation to occur overnight.
For instance, tech executives often contact me with the goal of bolstering their confidence, and they tend to want a quick fix. I have to remind them that while I regularly work with leaders on becoming more authentic in the workplace, it’s not realistic to eliminate impostor syndrome in a single session.
2. Understand the coach’s style.
One of the biggest factors that will make or break your success in working with an executive coach is their style.
I often teach and coach other coaches on how to be better coaches, and in the process I’ve discovered that there is a wide range of coaching styles. You can think of coaching styles as a spectrum that includes:
- Direct vs. passive
- Challenging vs. supportive
- Empowering vs. directive
- Conversational vs. structured
- Insight-oriented vs. action-oriented
- Somatic-leaning vs. cognitive-leaning
- Reflective vs. forward-driving
You also want to understand how their style lands in your body and soul. Some leaders thrive with a coach who lovingly pokes at their blind spots, while others shut down when someone pushes them too far, too fast.
Pay attention to what helps you expand and what causes you to contract. You’re not trying to choose the most captivating coach. Your focus should be on finding someone who challenges you without breaking you.
3. Learn the coach’s approach and methodology.
When meeting with executive coaches, you want to gain a clear understanding of their approach and methodology. Ask them to explain how they work and what results their clients typically see.
For instance, my methodology is grounded in behavior change best practices because I’m a Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES®). My work is backed by hard data on how adults best learn and retain information because of my doctorate in adult education. I also believe we are most effective when we honor who we are and acknowledge the role of trauma in work and life, which stems from my advanced training in trauma-informed coaching. I bring my lived experience as a queer person with multiple mental health conditions, which deeply influences my work.
I am assertive but not directive. My role is to ask deep, moving questions that help clients get unstuck, own their fabulousness, and achieve what they never imagined possible in their career and life.
Your coach should be willing and able to answer questions about their approach and methodology.
4. Clarify your coach’s values.
Working with an executive coach is vulnerable and deeply personal work. You need to understand whether your values align before moving forward; otherwise, the relationship is compromised from the beginning.
You also want to know how a coach lives their values. Do their actions match their words? Do their policies, practices, and boundaries align with what they say they believe? How do they demonstrate authenticity in their client relationships?
Personally, I am a fierce advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI). I am likely not a fit for clients who don’t agree that love is love, that Black Lives Matter, or that no human is illegal. You can read my values here.
5. Evaluate the role of your identity in this work.
Identity plays a key role in the workplace, especially when you’re navigating issues of bias, systemic oppression, representation, and belonging. It’s important to consider whether an executive coach has the lived experience, cultural humility, or training to support you effectively.
Because I frequently speak about Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, & Belonging (DEIB), many LGBTQ+ people, BIPOC, and members of other historically oppressed groups often choose to work with me.
Personally, I identify as a gay cis man, so it was important to have a spiritual coach who was a member of my community. Sometimes identity alignment matters deeply. Other times, what matters most is whether a coach has demonstrated competence, humility, and sensitivity in supporting clients with experiences different from their own.
Only you get to decide what you need to feel seen, respected, and empowered.
6. Assess the support they offer between sessions.
Consider what support, if any, is available between sessions to maintain your momentum. For some clients, consistent touchpoints help deepen accountability and integration. For others, more spaciousness works better.
Will they provide you with resources and homework between sessions? Can you reach out with questions via email? How available are they in the case of a high-stakes moment arising? What boundaries guide that access?
The right level of support depends on how you best learn, grow, and hold yourself accountable.
7. Listen to your intuition.
Your intuition can be a powerful guide when deciding whether you’re the right fit for a coach, and whether the coach is the right fit for you.
A few years ago, I was looking to hire a coach. I recall speaking with a prospect and feeling nervous during the call. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but my general sense was that they lacked confidence and weren’t self-assured about the service they offered. I was already feeling anxious and didn’t want to work with a coach who wasn’t going to come to our sessions feeling grounded, so I decided to work with a more confident practitioner.
This is why I urge leaders to speak with multiple coaches before making a decision. You can learn a lot about a prospective coach by tuning into their answers and energy during a chemistry call.
Questions To Ask An Executive Coach To Determine Whether They’re The Right Fit For You
Here are a few questions that align with the steps above and can reveal whether you and a coach are truly a match:
- How would you describe your coaching style?
- What types of clients and goals do you work with most often?
- What methodologies or frameworks guide your coaching?
- How do you challenge clients, and how do you support them?
- What values guide your work as a coach?
- How do you handle identity-related topics in coaching?
- What support is included between sessions?
These questions can quickly give you a sense of whether the partnership will truly click. Don’t aim for perfect answers (coaches are human, after all!). Instead, notice whether the conversation improves your self-awareness, confidence, and readiness to grow.
Final Thoughts On Finding The Right Executive Coach
Choosing the right executive coach isn’t just about personality, referrals, or social media following. You must also determine mutual fit, alignment, and readiness for the process. A strong coaching relationship will challenge you, support you, and help you reach the next level in your leadership career.
Take the time to reflect on your goals, assess the coach’s style, and clarify their values. Also, consider the role of identity, pay attention to the support they offer between sessions, and trust your intuition throughout the process.
The right executive coach can help you get unstuck, own your fabulousness, and achieve what you never imagined possible in your career and life, but only if it’s the right fit—for both of you.
On a final note, if you’d like to discuss whether we might be a mutual fit for executive coaching, please reach out or schedule a consultation—I’d be happy to speak with you. I’m here for you! You’ve got this!
