Hiring an executive coach is a big decision. You’ll be opening up to this person, spending significant time together, and entrusting them with your professional (and often personal) growth and challenges.
Many of my clients work with me for six months to a year and often return for additional coaching when they’re navigating new opportunities and challenges.
After coaching hundreds of executives, I’ve found that leaders tend to make the same handful of mistakes when hiring a coach. Choosing the right coach is essential.
Keep reading for the most common mistakes leaders make when hiring an executive coach, and how to avoid them.
11 Biggest Mistakes To Avoid When Choosing An Executive Coach
1. Not understanding what coaching is
Coaching isn’t therapy, mentoring, or consulting. And it definitely isn’t advice-giving. If you expect quick fixes or someone to tell you exactly what to do, you’ll likely feel disappointed by the process. Coaching is about unlocking your own solutions.
According to the International Coaching Federation, the global coaching authority, coaching is “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
Before engaging a coach, clarify your objectives. Want to be a “better leader”? What does that mean to you? Which leadership skills do you want to develop? What impact do you hope to make? Why is this important to you? The clearer you are on your goals, the more value you’ll gain from coaching.
Tip: Write down your top goal (or goals) for coaching and share them with your potential coach so you’re aligned from the get-go.
2. Having unrealistic expectations
While coaching is transformative, it’s not instantaneous. Expecting a breakthrough from a single session (or even a handful of them) is unrealistic. Change takes time. The bigger the change, the more time it will likely take to transform.
You can think of coaching like going to the gym (or Pilates for my fellow enthusiasts). You can’t expect to build a muscle in a week. Growth takes time, consistency, and a whole lot of patience.
Although every situation is distinct, many of my clients start to notice meaningful shifts after two to three months of consistent work. Consider setting a realistic timeline and key performance indicators (KPIs) with your coach from the start so you’re both aligned and can measure your progress along the way.
3. Choosing the wrong coach
You deserve a coach who has experience with leaders like you. They should understand your industry and be able to discuss relevant topics.
Many coaches have impressive social media followings and slick websites, but you must conduct your due diligence. Verify testimonials independently and ensure they come from executives similar to you—i.e. they’re quotes from executives who have worked with the provider in a coaching capacity, not just former colleagues or fellow LinkedIn connections.
Some leaders share with me that they feel like they wasted their money with a previous coach by rushing the decision, not verifying testimonials, or succumbing to high-pressure sales tactics. (Ew!)
4. Overlooking industry experience
Your coach should understand your industry. Many of my tech executive clients value my deep connections and fluency in the language of tech, leadership, and social justice.
A coach without tech industry experience might give unrealistic advice, like suggesting that you “Just clock out at 5 PM,” which isn’t usually feasible for busy leaders.
Ask potential coaches about their industry knowledge and request introductions to former clients in your field who can speak to their experience.
5. Treating coaching as separate from your life
Leadership doesn’t happen in a vacuum. However, some coaches avoid topics like family, stress, loss, and relationships. I argue that these are appropriate (and essential) topics in executive coaching.
Humans can’t simply turn off their emotions when in the workplace. Your personal challenges are inevitably going to impact you at work, and a great coach isn’t afraid to help you address and integrate them.
For example, one of my clients was navigating both divorce and the death of a parent. They realized that their stress was impacting how they showed up at work and home. Ignoring this reality would have really limited our work together and stalled our progress.
Try to be up front with your coach about any life events or stressors that come up. This transparency accelerates the progress you can make and allows your coach to help you integrate life and work more effectively.
6. Skipping chemistry calls
Every coach has a unique style. Before selecting an executive coach, be sure to schedule multiple consultations (or chemistry calls) to gauge a mutual fit.
Take note of the communication style on their websites, booking forms, emails, and during the call. Are they aligned with your style? Do they actively listen? Do they challenge you? Or are they pushy?
You want a coach who aligns with your personality dynamic while perhaps also pushing you a bit out of your comfort zone.
Really treat the chemistry call as a two-way interview. You’re assessing them just as much as they’re assessing you.
7. Selecting the wrong coaching format
Decide whether you want to invest in individual (one-on-one) or group (one-to-many) coaching.
To maximize their potential revenue, many coaches will offer group coaching, and it can be helpful if you’re looking for a peer networking opportunity. However, this structure can feel impersonal and time-consuming, particularly for senior leaders who crave a more intimate, bespoke experience.
Also, be sure to clarify what support, if any, you’ll receive from your coach between your sessions.
8. Meeting sporadically with your coach
Like telephone poles, coaching sessions need to be close enough to remain supportive but spaced out enough to avoid feeling overcrowded.
Most clients start by meeting with me every 1 to 2 weeks. Once our rhythm is established, we transition to every 2 to 4 weeks, with email support between sessions to keep the momentum strong.
If you’re feeling exceptionally busy or overwhelmed, know that executive coaching becomes that much more valuable. A coach can help you prioritize, set boundaries, and achieve your goals more effectively.
Conversely, long gaps between sessions often mean that the majority of your session is focused on catching up, rather than driving change.
9. Not prioritizing the coaching program
Executives are exceptionally busy. Many of my clients work full-time, have children, and care for aging parents. It’s a lot to juggle.
Coaching doesn’t typically require lots of “homework,” but it does require your presence and energy. If you don’t carve out mental and emotional space for coaching, you won’t reap its full benefits. Period.
10. Failing to do the work between sessions
I like to say that much of the “magic” of coaching happens between sessions. In other words, this is when you’re applying insights, experimenting with new behaviors, and reflecting on and celebrating your progress.
Yes, your coach can challenge and guide you during sessions, but you must do your part between them. A coach can’t have tough conversations or make difficult decisions for you. That responsibility is all yours.
11. Falling for false promises
Beware of guarantees. A credible coach won’t promise promotions, salary increases, behavior change, or overnight transformations.
The only guarantee should be: your coach shows up, listens actively, and provides an accountable space for co-creation. The rest is up to you.
Instead of guarantees, ask how the coach measures success with their clients and how they evaluate progress. Request examples of past client outcomes to get a realistic picture.
Will My Company Pay For Executive Coaching?
Hiring an executive coach can be a significant investment of not just energy and time, but also money. Fortunately, many companies offer professional development funds, which often go unused. Coaching is a strategic way to maximize those funds.
[Read: How Much Does Executive Coaching Cost?]
How Do I Get The Most Out Of Executive Coaching?
Clients who get the most out of coaching prepare intentionally. Before each session, outline updates to share with your coach, identify goals you want to work toward, and highlight obstacles in your way.
Your presence during the session matters too. Be open and honest with your coach, willing to learn, and receptive to feedback.
[Read: What To Expect In Your First Coaching Session (And How To Best Prepare)]
What If My Executive Coach Isn’t A Good Fit?
Don’t call it quits if you had a bad experience with a coach. Sometimes it takes more than one try to match with the right professional. Reflect on what didn’t work with your previous coach and use that info to refine your criteria for the next one.
Next time, schedule chemistry calls with multiple coaches, learn about their style and process, and verify their testimonials from leaders with profiles similar to yours.
Final Thoughts On Executive Coaching
Hiring an executive coach is a major investment in your leadership, career, and life. Avoiding these common mistakes will help you maximize your return.
If you’d like to explore whether coaching is right for you, please feel free to schedule a consultation. If I’m not the best executive coach for your goals and needs, I’ll provide you with a referral to an industry colleague I trust. I’m here for you! You’ve got this!
