It’s normal to feel sad, mad, or scared after getting rejected for a job, particularly if you’ve been on the hunt for a while. How do you gracefully handle job disappointment? Are there mistakes to avoid after getting rejected from a dream position?
In this article, I share intentional steps you can take after getting turned down for a job, as well as missteps to avoid as you prepare to look for your next role.
Why Is Job Rejection So Painful?
But first, why does getting passed over for an opportunity hurt so much?
One of the primary reasons job rejections can be so painful is that you have invested a significant amount of time and effort into looking for your next role. When your efforts culminate in a rejection, it can feel as though all your energy was wasted, leaving you emotionally and mentally drained.
Moreover, the sting of rejection is often intensified because our careers are so often intertwined with our sense of identity. Consequently, when a prospective employer turns you away, it can feel like a personal rejection rather than a professional one.
This perceived slight can really impact your self-esteem and confidence, even when it’s “just business” and doesn’t have anything to do with you on a personal level.
3 Steps To Recovery After Getting Rejected From A Job
Here are 3 strategies worth trying to help you handle job search rejection with grace:
1. Process the rejection.
Begin by taking ample time to process the loss. This is a crucial step that many forget to take, as they worry it will prevent them from ever landing a job. Yet, as a job search expert, I can promise you that carving out the mental and emotional space needed to properly heal from job rejection will pay dividends. In fact, you’ll actually land something faster because you’ll show up.
Now, how long should you take to process the loss? The short answer is, it depends. Some job seekers only need 30 minutes or an hour to grieve, while others may need a few days or even a week to bounce back. The important thing is to give yourself enough time to feel any and all emotions associated with the topic.
There’s an important caveat here, though. You don’t want to remain stuck in this phase. Many of my coaching clients find it helpful to use a timer or deadline to limit how long they spend grieving a rejection and processing their emotions. This doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to come back to them, but it provides a container to hold any feelings of resentment and frustration surrounding the job search.
While we’re on the topic, I’ll share that I’m a major proponent of regularly airing your negative feelings in a healthy manner. For some people, this may look like journaling, while for others it may involve exercise or dance. The important part is finding an effective way to release any pent-up energy you may be harboring so you don’t carry it with you into networking meetings and job interviews.
2. Take action in your job search.
Once you’ve had ample time to process the rejection, it’s time to take action in your job search, as action is one of the most powerful ways to fight off frustration in addition to any other feelings of “stuckness.”
While it may be tempting to set a goal of interviewing with X companies per week or landing a new role job by Y date, these outcomes are beyond your control. Instead, focus your efforts on the aspects of the job search that are directly within your control. Here are some examples to get you started:
- Tailor your resume for X applications per day using keywords from the job posting.
- Submit a custom cover letter alongside each resume that articulates your unique value proposition (AKA your fabulousness).
- Identify your interview talking points and update your STAR(T) stories.
- Network with X people in your target role at your dream company per week.
These are just a few examples of ways you can take meaningful action while remaining in the driver’s seat of your career. Remember to focus on those areas you have direct control over.
3. Call on your support system.
Lastly, you don’t have to handle job search rejection alone. While asking for help can bring up feelings of vulnerability, it’s particularly important that you lean into your support system following job rejection.
And if you don’t have a support system, start building one now. I encourage job seekers to curate and maintain a “Personal Board of Directors” that includes friends and family, former colleagues, mentors, and anyone else who will not only have your back and help you stay motivated through the job search but can also be called upon when the going gets tough.
Reaching out to your Personal Board of Directors with specific asks will enable you to make the most of their support. The following are a few examples of what this may look like.
- “I would like to speak with you and process a recent rejection I received.”
- “I’m applying for senior product manager roles in high tech and wanted to see if you happen to know any PMs at these companies.”
- “I’m looking for a career coach to support me with my job search and wondering if you can provide any referrals.”
How To Pick Yourself Up After Job Rejection
While getting rejected from a job can be a hit to your ego, it’s not the end of the world. Take time to process your emotions, focus on what’s within your control, and tap into your support system. Learning to remain hopeful during your job search will set you up for long-term success.
Final Thoughts On Handling Job Search Rejection
Recognize that everyone handles rejection differently, and all your feelings and emotions are valid. Be sure to give yourself space to process, then take action. And don’t forget to lean into your support system. You’ve got this!
