One of the most uncomfortable parts of being a coach is having to terminate a client relationship. Even the most experienced coaches don’t enjoy having to fire a client.
Personally, I’d rather sit in Silicon Valley traffic than terminate a client. But I also know that it’s in the best interest of both the client and me to let them go if they’re not honoring the commitments we agreed to.
Because I’m known for coaching difficult executives, you might think I’ve had to terminate a lot of challenging clients. The reality is that I rarely resort to firing people. I can count the total number of clients I’ve had to terminate on two hands, which is far less than 1% of my total coaching engagements.
Part of this is because I’m crystal clear on my Zone of Genius (I coach tech leaders), maintain an application-only process, and conduct in-depth chemistry calls to ensure mutual fit. I also urge prospective clients to speak with several coaching firms before making a selection. All of this ensures that I only work with clients who are deeply committed to the process and ready to go deep quickly.
Still, even with a robust onboarding process and methodical approach, there are leaders who ultimately need to be removed from coaching, sometimes without their say in the matter.
If you’re a leader who has been fired by your coach, it can sting, and you can wonder what went wrong. (Spoiler: You’re not broken, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with you.)
I wrote this article because there are very few resources on the topic, and even fewer aimed at supporting the client. I want to normalize the process and ensure you have the tools you need to succeed moving forward.
What Does It Mean To Be “Fired” By Your Executive Coach?
Before we dive in, let’s cover what it means to be “fired” by your coach. Coaches may terminate a relationship with a client because the engagement is no longer effective, safe, or aligned.
You may be part of this decision, while other times they’re ending the engagement without your input. This can be due to repeated boundary violations, lack of engagement, or failing to uphold your agreed-upon responsibilities.
Common Reasons That Executive Coaches Fire Their Clients
There are several reasons why a coach may resort to terminating a client before the engagement was scheduled to be over:
- They’re consistently late, fail to show up, or repeatedly reschedule.
- They don’t complete homework or submit work that’s rushed or incomplete.
- They refuse to engage in the work altogether.
- They cross boundaries.
- These repeated boundary violations continue despite correction.
- They engage in rude or aggressive behavior.
- Their needs exceed the coaching scope.
- The work has become unsafe or unproductive.
Please note that these reasons are distinct from the more typical ways a client relationship ends, such as the coaching engagement concluding, shifting priorities that naturally bring the work to a close, or the coach having a personal emergency and being unable to continue the contract.
6 Steps To Take After Being Fired By Your Executive Coach
It can be difficult to move forward after you’ve been terminated by your coach. Here are 6 actionable next steps to consider when your coach ends an engagement prematurely.
1. Pause before taking action.
Having your coaching engagement terminated can bring up a lot of complex feelings and emotions. It might even trigger a trauma response.
Pause before responding or engaging in any actions that you may later regret. For instance, you may want to send your coach a nasty-gram, but ask yourself whether this will really serve you long term.
Getting terminated by your coach isn’t a personal failure. It simply means that your coach wasn’t the right fit for your style, goals, and needs at this time.
Instead of taking it personally (yes, I recognize this is easier said than done), focus on what you can take away from this experience.
2. Request feedback from your coach.
If it feels appropriate, you can ask for feedback on why the coaching engagement was terminated.
This might sound like, “I want to prevent this from happening again. What specific feedback can you share about your reason for terminating me so I can understand what happened?”
Not all coaches will be able to provide feedback, but if they do, be open to hearing their perspective. This can reduce your chances of ending up in the same situation later on.
Then, sit with their perspective and decide whether the feedback signals a bigger pattern. For instance, if their feedback is that your situation is better suited for mental health therapy, this can help you seek out the type of support that will best serve you.
3. Look internally to see how you may have contributed.
Ask yourself how you might have contributed to the coaching engagement coming to an end:
- Were you the right fit for the coach in the first place?
- How clear were you on your goals for coaching?
- Did you show up prepared for the sessions and willing to do the inner work?
- Were you honest, open, and vulnerable throughout the process?
- Did you provide ongoing feedback about what worked for you and what didn’t?
Coaching requires significant time, resources, vulnerability, and personal accountability, and not all leaders are willing to commit to the process.
4. Ask for referrals to other coaches or practitioners.
Depending on how the engagement ended and the feedback you receive, you might ask for referrals. This might look like information on another coach or type of support, such as mental health therapy or mentoring.
Most coaches maintain deep networks of fellow coaches, mental health practitioners, and mentors they’re happy to provide referrals to.
If your coach is reluctant to provide you with any referral at all, it might be an opportunity to reflect on why they may feel uncomfortable attaching their name to you, even for a referral introduction.
5. Consider whether coaching is the right format for you right now.
Coaching isn’t always the best format for your needs. A mismatch between your needs and the coach’s ability to deliver can lead to the termination of the relationship.
For instance, if you’re looking for advice, a coach isn’t the right fit, and you might benefit instead from a mentor or consultant. And if you are unable to regulate your emotions enough to engage productively, coaching probably isn’t appropriate, and working with a mental health therapist is likely a better option.
Sometimes, your situation changes during the coaching process, so your coach may need to end or pause the engagement if they believe another practitioner would be more appropriate to support you.
6. Speak with multiple executive coaching firms.
If you’ve determined that coaching is still the best fit for your needs right now, you’ll want to conduct chemistry calls with multiple coaching firms.
Sometimes, the initial coach just wasn’t the right fit for your style, needs, and goals. And that’s totally okay. It happens.
Consider what you can do differently this time around to prevent yourself from landing in the same situation twice:
- Do you need greater clarity about your goals before choosing a coach?
- Do you need to ask better questions during the chemistry call?
- Would you benefit from understanding their coaching philosophy more deeply?
- Might you want to speak with additional former clients?
These questions can help you avoid repeating the same mismatch and dramatically improve your next coaching relationship.
Is It Normal To Get Fired By A Coach? What About Multiple Coaches?
It’s not common to have a coaching relationship terminated by a coach before the agreed-upon number of sessions or contract period has ended. It’s even less common to be fired by multiple practitioners.
In my practice, I can count the number of clients I’ve fired on two hands, which is significantly less than 1% of my total coaching engagements.
Am I A Coachable Leader?
Everyone is coachable, including leaders who have been fired by their coach. However, it may be that right now isn’t the best moment in your career or life to receive coaching. At times, you may benefit more from engaging in other methodologies, such as therapy or mentoring, before getting the most out of working with a coach.
Final Thoughts On Being Fired By An Executive Coach
Being fired by your executive coach can feel painful and confusing. It can also serve as a powerful reset. With reflection, intention, and deliberate next steps, you can use this moment to step into greater clarity and your next level of leadership.
If you’ve been fired by your executive coach and want to discuss whether working with another one makes sense for you, please reach out or schedule a consultation. I’d love to discuss how I may be able to support you. I’m here for you! You’ve got this!
