Finding an executive coach who specializes in working with LGBTQ+ leaders can feel like a Herculean task. Not only must you find someone with expertise in the LGBTQ+ community and your industry, but you also want a coach who honors the full complexity of your identity. On top of that, the fit must be mutual. You need to trust them, and they need to understand how to support you. The entire process can quickly feel overwhelming.
Plenty of articles (including my own) explain how to find and choose an executive coach. Very few, however, address the nuances of finding a coach who is truly dedicated to serving LGBTQ+ leaders.
As an executive coach specializing in LGBTQ+ tech leaders, I created this article to fill that gap. My goal is simple: to help you feel confident finding the right LGBTQ+ executive coach for your leadership goals so that you don’t have to compromise who you are.
5 Steps To Find The Best LGBTQ+ Executive Coach
1. Clarify their niche in LGBTQ+ leader development.
Start by clarifying the coach’s true niche. Do they work with LGBTQ+ leaders as a core focus, or is it something they do only occasionally?
Additionally, you want an executive coach who specializes in your specific industry and regularly works with leaders at your level.
A generalist might be perfectly capable of supporting recent graduates or early-career professionals. As an executive, though, you need an industry expert with experience supporting LGBTQ+ leaders of your caliber. Boilerplate advice won’t cut it. Period.
2. Review their LGBTQ+ thought leadership and community involvement.
Pay attention to whether the coach is actively involved in the LGBTQ+ leadership community, or whether it feels like an afterthought added for marketing purposes. You deserve to work with someone who is deeply familiar with the realities of LGBTQ+ leadership.
Even well-intentioned advice can miss the mark when it comes from someone who isn’t immersed in the lived experiences of modern LGBTQ+ leaders. For example, “just be yourself” lands very differently when your identity can have real career consequences.
I’m openly queer, and I’m also a long-term, vocal advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. I served on multiple LGBTQ+ committees during my university career before transitioning to run CaffeinatedKyle.com full-time. I frequently write about LGBTQ+ leadership, and I spoke to more than 500 LGBTQ+ leaders at Out In Tech on protecting your mental health as you climb the corporate ladder. I was also unanimously elected to serve as an executive board member of the Gay Coaches Alliance.
3. Ensure they’re a trauma-informed coach.
Beyond LGBTQ+ leadership expertise, your coach should be trauma-informed. Importantly, this goes far beyond inclusive language or surface-level awareness. It requires advanced training and an up-to-date understanding of best practices. Many coaching methodologies from even a decade ago are now considered outdated.
You can look for a coach with a master’s degree or higher in career counseling, education, or a related field, along with recent certifications in trauma-informed coaching.
4. Prioritize intersectionality in your coaching relationship.
Consider the other aspects of your identity that will shape your leadership and coaching experience.
For example, if you live with a mental health condition, does the coach have experience supporting LGBTQ+ leaders who are navigating the workplace while managing their mental health? That experience matters.
I completed my doctoral research on mental health storytelling, and I firmly believe that executive coaching must work with the full picture of who you are. The more your identities are understood and honored, the more powerful the coaching becomes.
5. Pay attention to your nervous system during the chemistry call.
As you conduct chemistry calls with multiple coaches, which I always recommend, pay close attention to how they make you feel and how your body responds.
This matters for all leaders, but it’s especially important for LGBTQ+ leaders. Many queer people are conditioned to stay on guard, ready to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn in professional spaces.
Does the person on the other side of the phone (or Zoom screen) make you feel activated or grounded? Can you relax and stay present? Can you imagine navigating difficult leadership challenges with them by your side?
You can’t expect yourself to feel instantly safe, but you can speak with several executive coaches and choose the one that makes you feel the most aligned, supported, and empowered.
Questions To Ask When Choosing An LGBTQ+ Executive Coach
These questions can help you make an informed choice:
- What percentage of your clients are members of the LGBTQ+ community?
- Can you share your involvement in the LGBTQ+ community, including recent writing and speaking engagements?
- How do you support clients in navigating multiple aspects of their identity at work?
- How do you stay current on best practices in leadership development and DEI?
- How do you help clients feel grounded, supported, and empowered during sessions?
Beyond their words, pay attention to how they respond. Are they calm and confident or defensive or performative? Would you trust this person with your growth and your livelihood?
Don’t shy away from asking tough questions. A strong coach will welcome them. If a prospective coach seems hesitant or evasive, proceed with caution.
Are There Executive Coaches Who Specialize In Serving The LGBTQ+ Community?
Yes, there is a small but mighty group of executive coaches who specialize in serving LGBTQ+ leaders. Many, myself included, also work with allies. Others exclusively serve the LGBTQ+ community.
A significant portion of my own coaching clients identify as LGBTQ+.
Is It Important That My Coach Shares My Same Gender Or Sexual Orientation?
This is a personal decision that deserves honest self-reflection. Many leaders find it deeply affirming to work with a coach who is also LGBTQ+, simply because they “get it.” You won’t need to pause mid-session to explain lingo or cultural nuance.
Final Thoughts On Finding An LGBTQ+ Executive Coach
LGBTQ+ leaders face distinct challenges in their careers. Your executive coach should be an expert in your industry, experienced with leaders at your level, actively engaged in the LGBTQ+ community, trauma-informed, and ready to embrace your intersectionality.
Plan to conduct chemistry calls with multiple coaches. The right coach will help you feel grounded, empowered, and supported as you lead.
If you’d like to explore whether working together makes sense, please feel free to reach out or schedule a consultation. If I’m not the perfect fit, I maintain a deep network of LGBTQ+ coaches and am more than happy to provide a referral. I’m here for you! You’ve got this!
