“I had a poor experience with another career coach. Should I give coaching another try?”
“I paid someone to write my resume and wasn’t happy with the outcome. How do I know this experience will be different?”
“I invested in a career coaching program but didn’t get the results I expected. Is coaching even worth it?”
As a career coach, I hear variations of these questions often.
Over the years, I’ve written articles about how to spot red flags in top career coach lists, what questions to ask when speaking with prospective providers, and how to find the right coach for your goals.
However, this article is a bit different, as it’s focused on those of you who’ve already had a poor experience and are wondering, okay, now what, Kyle?
If that’s you, here’s what to consider before working with another coach or service provider, and how to protect yourself from ending up in the same situation again.
Common Reasons For A Poor Coaching Experience
While every coaching relationship is unique, here are some of the most common reasons professionals come to me feeling frustrated or let down by a previous engagement.
1. Misaligned expectations
Misunderstood or unspoken expectations can quickly lead to friction and disappointment in a coaching relationship.
Sometimes professionals expect their coach to be more like a reverse recruiter, consultant, or even therapist. Other times, coaches assume their clients know exactly what to expect from the process. Either way, these mismatched expectations can derail the coaching process before it even begins!
Before you sign up to work with a coach, ensure you’re clear on:
- What the coach will (and won’t) help you with
- The structure and frequency of your sessions
- Support available between sessions
- The coach’s approach to resumes, LinkedIn, networking, interview prep, and salary negotiation
- Whether they make connections to recruiters or hiring managers
Ask your coach how they define success and how they’ll help you measure your progress along the way.
[Read: “Can I Hire Someone To Find Me A Job?” Answered]
2. Lack of industry experience
While generalist coaches can be helpful in many situations, if you’re targeting a tech role, you’ll likely want to work with a career coach who specializes in the tech industry.
I’ve worked with countless professionals who previously hired well-meaning coaches with minimal tech industry knowledge. While the coaches had good intentions, the job seekers ended up disappointed when the coaches didn’t understand the nuances of tech and instead offered generic job search advice, which simply didn’t cut it.
Choosing the wrong coach can easily cost you interviews, job offers, and even tens of thousands of dollars in salary.
3. Limited experience with senior leaders
Similarly, if you’re a senior leader or executive, you must choose a career coach who specializes in working with people at your level (or higher).
Even if a coach says they’ve worked with “leaders,” it’s important to specifically ask what they mean by that. There’s a big difference between managing a team of 5 and overseeing a global organization of 500.
The way that a Fortune 500 C-suite leader leverages the “hidden job market” is quite different than the way a first-time manager does. Your coach must understand those nuances and be prepared to guide you accordingly.
4. Coaching style mismatch
Not every coaching relationship is a match, and that’s okay.
While the right coach doesn’t need to be just like you, you do want one whose style and energy resonate with you. You also need to trust them deeply, as you’re going to be divulging private and confidential information to this person.
Some clients prefer a slower, more reflective approach, while others thrive in fast-paced sessions. There’s no “right” style, but you want a coach who will bring out the best, most authentic version of you.
5. You weren’t ready for coaching
Lastly, take a moment to reflect on whether you were really ready for coaching.
This can be a tough pill to swallow, but coaching requires a lot of mental energy, emotional intelligence, and a willingness to change.
Perhaps you were burned out, under-resourced, or mentally checked out when you started the coaching process. It’s possible you simply weren’t in the right headspace to get the most out of the experience.
Ask yourself whether you’re truly ready to receive new insights, be challenged on your thinking, and take action toward your goals.
Reflecting On Your Past Coaching Experience
It can also be powerful to understand what actually happened versus what simply felt disappointing. Consider these prompts:
- What did I learn about myself, even if the coaching didn’t meet my expectations?
- Were there moments when I ignored red flags because I felt desperate for change?
- What did I appreciate, if anything, about the process?
Self-reflection will help you enter your next coaching experience with clearer expectations.
Alternatives When Career Coaching Isn’t The Best Fit
In certain situations, you might be better off working with another type of service provider:
- A therapist may be an appropriate fit if you’re struggling with feelings of hopelessness or if you want to process trauma.
- A resume writer is typically a good fit if you only want tactical support while refining your career documents.
- A mentor can offer informal advice and guidance about your career based on their personal experience.
It can be incredibly empowering to choose the resource who best supports where you are right now in your journey.
Questions To Ask Before Working With A Career Coach Again
Before partnering with another coach, pause and ask yourself:
- What do I hope to gain from coaching this time around?
- What specifically didn’t work in my previous experience?
- What am I looking for in a coaching relationship that I didn’t get last time?
- How might I communicate my expectations more clearly?
- What kind of coaching style works best for me?
- How open am I to being challenged and trying new approaches?
- How will I evaluate whether this coach is a good fit before committing?
Be sure to schedule a discovery call to get a sense of the coach’s style, approach, and expertise. A good coach will be transparent and welcome your questions.
[Read: What To Expect In Your First Coaching Session (And How To Best Prepare)]
What Makes A Coaching Engagement “Successful”?
A common misconception is that coaching is only successful if you land a new job right away. But that’s rarely the full picture!
Consider less obvious indicators of your progress, like:
- Increased clarity and confidence in your career direction
- An expanded network and more strategic outreach to recruiters
- More compelling interview talking points and stories
- Better strategies for negotiating your salary and total compensation
These success signals can help you measure your progress throughout the engagement, even if you haven’t landed a job yet.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve had a less than stellar experience with a coach in the past, know that you’re not alone, and don’t let it define your future coaching relationships.
If you’re curious about working together, please reach out or schedule a consultation. If I believe you’re not quite ready for coaching, or another service provider would be a better fit for your needs, I’ll be transparent with you and refer you to one of my industry peers.
You deserve a coaching experience that feels energizing and empowering, not one that leaves you feeling let down or stuck. I’m here for you! You’ve got this!
